Tuesday, October 14, 2003
'Another day, another dollar'
What I don't get about that? Yes, it is another day, but where is this dollar I was suppose to receive?
Anywho...I'm sick of complaining about life. Do i know what i'm doing in school? NO. Do I know what i'm going to do tomarrow? NO. But I'm here, and i'm going to give it my best shot. So come over here and help me load this revolver. I'm kidding of course. Simpson's halloween special is coming up...I await the terror.
What I don't get about that? Yes, it is another day, but where is this dollar I was suppose to receive?
Anywho...I'm sick of complaining about life. Do i know what i'm doing in school? NO. Do I know what i'm going to do tomarrow? NO. But I'm here, and i'm going to give it my best shot. So come over here and help me load this revolver. I'm kidding of course. Simpson's halloween special is coming up...I await the terror.
Monday, October 13, 2003
ahhh, another day in the trenches. Another day I question why I'm still alive.
Waking to the annoyance know as the modern marvel alarm timekeeper, I awoke today a bit beside myself contemplaiting existance as I grabbed my towel and headed for the shower with a slight case of 'the mondays'. How delightful the warm embrace of 'El Diablo' (the devil-name given to our water heater due to its ability to reach pleasent warm temperatures quickly, then betray you and melt your flesh off) felt as warm water rushed over my body and created the illusion that everything was fine. During the cascade of this transparent opiate, I notice that I was no alone in the safety of my shower, but I was being watched by three sets of eyes: it was nothing shy of enormous how it sat there amongst my many girl-like hair shower treatments. Although it was 1/80 my size, nothing short of PURE TERROR surged through my body. When my eyes scanned its immense size, my breath becoming short, and my vision blurry, I began to feel faint. There was almost a man down when I pulled myself together and thought of the circumstances: This is the one part of the day when everything is perfect and some 8-legged creep who has already bogarted my hair products and seen my junk thinks he can just step in and be the acid rain on my parade? I don't think so. I stared him right back in the eyes, and audibly stated, "let's do this". I was forced to sacrifice a bit of Yao's Sauve for men shampoo, but the head Sauve executive himself would have been proud to see a product head into combat as galiantly as the green shampoo I dumped all over my nemesis. It was a crippling blow, but he shook off the effects of the cheap hair product line and approached me with what I felt to be a threatening pace. With nothing to defend myself with I was pinned in the corner of the white tile arena with my 8-legged gladiator rapidly approaching. As I tried to brace the walls with my hands to attempt to elevate myself off the floor and out of striking distance, my shouts were silenced by the pure terror that surged through my body. When all seemed lost and I had no hope...he reached out his hand. My hand accidently grazed the arm of what I thought was to be an enemy, but ended up being an unsuspected ally. I released him from his ceramic holster above my head and held him like a colt .45 in the dusty streets of dodge city. It all seemed to happen so fast that I didn't even feel my body going through the motions...I could only watch as my left hand reached for El Diablo's temperature regulator...El Diablo went from pleasent to brimstone in a matter of seconds...
As the steamed cleared...he was dead laying all over himself in the opposite corner. I found myself breathing hard from the adrenaline rush wondering what just happened when I looked down and gasped at the pure destruction I had caused. El Diablo was not just a shower...he was a killing machine capable of power I would never know...but more that that, El Diablo was a friend reaching out to me in my darkest hour. The moral of this story is to kill spiders. All Spiders.
that's pretty much it.
Waking to the annoyance know as the modern marvel alarm timekeeper, I awoke today a bit beside myself contemplaiting existance as I grabbed my towel and headed for the shower with a slight case of 'the mondays'. How delightful the warm embrace of 'El Diablo' (the devil-name given to our water heater due to its ability to reach pleasent warm temperatures quickly, then betray you and melt your flesh off) felt as warm water rushed over my body and created the illusion that everything was fine. During the cascade of this transparent opiate, I notice that I was no alone in the safety of my shower, but I was being watched by three sets of eyes: it was nothing shy of enormous how it sat there amongst my many girl-like hair shower treatments. Although it was 1/80 my size, nothing short of PURE TERROR surged through my body. When my eyes scanned its immense size, my breath becoming short, and my vision blurry, I began to feel faint. There was almost a man down when I pulled myself together and thought of the circumstances: This is the one part of the day when everything is perfect and some 8-legged creep who has already bogarted my hair products and seen my junk thinks he can just step in and be the acid rain on my parade? I don't think so. I stared him right back in the eyes, and audibly stated, "let's do this". I was forced to sacrifice a bit of Yao's Sauve for men shampoo, but the head Sauve executive himself would have been proud to see a product head into combat as galiantly as the green shampoo I dumped all over my nemesis. It was a crippling blow, but he shook off the effects of the cheap hair product line and approached me with what I felt to be a threatening pace. With nothing to defend myself with I was pinned in the corner of the white tile arena with my 8-legged gladiator rapidly approaching. As I tried to brace the walls with my hands to attempt to elevate myself off the floor and out of striking distance, my shouts were silenced by the pure terror that surged through my body. When all seemed lost and I had no hope...he reached out his hand. My hand accidently grazed the arm of what I thought was to be an enemy, but ended up being an unsuspected ally. I released him from his ceramic holster above my head and held him like a colt .45 in the dusty streets of dodge city. It all seemed to happen so fast that I didn't even feel my body going through the motions...I could only watch as my left hand reached for El Diablo's temperature regulator...El Diablo went from pleasent to brimstone in a matter of seconds...
As the steamed cleared...he was dead laying all over himself in the opposite corner. I found myself breathing hard from the adrenaline rush wondering what just happened when I looked down and gasped at the pure destruction I had caused. El Diablo was not just a shower...he was a killing machine capable of power I would never know...but more that that, El Diablo was a friend reaching out to me in my darkest hour. The moral of this story is to kill spiders. All Spiders.
that's pretty much it.
Saturday, October 11, 2003
I really have nothing.
